Because to be honest, I don't really remember being bullied or seeing anyone bullied when I was in elementary, middle, junior high, or high school.
Granted I grew up in a college town with a bunch of kids whose parents largely either worked in one of the factories or were professors or worked at the college. I'm not saying this has anything to do with how people parent but it might. Maybe everyone goes to church. I don't know.
I only remember one kid being harassed. The assumption was that he was gay (we never knew one way or the other because he never said...well, maybe he did but I never heard about it). He was also "weird" as in he wasn't a jock or popular or one of the smart kids. It wasn't that he was uncool, he just had no filter when he talked and he kinda lacked social skills. I thought he was nice enough, plus I never really felt like he took what those guys said seriously. He almost kinda played along with them. I think he knew they were stupid. We apparently had no tolerance bullying policy but the kids that harassed him were already in in-school suspension so what did it matter if they were bullying, right? If they were already getting in trouble, what more did the administration need to do?
Once in junior high, two of the popular boys came up to me and tried to use pick-up lines on me. Then, I was flattered mostly because I had terrible body image issues and thought I was ugly and fat. But then a boy (one of the assholes I tried to save) told me I was "porn star hot" and my body image issues were solved (but still didn't want to be compared to a porn star...gross). Now, I still resent that kid for solving my body issues that way but I appreciate the sentiment. He was young and stupid. I get it. And I'm not sure if those two boys were sexually harassing me because I didn't feel harassed or bullied. It WAS wildly inappropriate though and now that my cousin is in junior high, I am absolutely terrified that she'll experience the same thing. I guess the fact that I'm terrified of something like that happening to her is a signal that maybe it was harassment.
Maybe I never knew if anyone was bullied in my school system because I never hung out with people who were bullied. I was a goody two shoes throughout my entire life. I still tend to hang out with people who are hesitant to be mean and "do the wrong thing." This is not to say that in order to not be bullied you had to fly under the radar, be extraordinarily nice, and always do the right thing. But I was always friends with EVERYONE. I remember after Columbine happened, I knew I had to treat everyone with kindness and respect because who knew what kind of problems they were having, you know?
What is bullying? The more I think about it, the more I think maybe bullying doesn't have to occur repeatedly. I had always endured people (mostly girls) saying rude things like, "Why are you such a goody two shoes?"and "Who wears pink Barbie overalls anymore?" (We were in the fourth grade). But it was never repeated. They would just say something once and it was never mentioned again. Maybe my inability to classify anything that happened to me as bullying stems from the fact that I had fabulous parents who reassured me on a daily basis that I was smart and beautiful and funny and if people didn't like it they were probably jealous.
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