First of all, yes. I do believe Valentine's Day is a holiday created by the greeting card industry to make millions of dollars.
However, I love Valentine's Day. Sure, in the past I've been "depressed" because I didn't have a boyfriend to share it with but I always had family and friends that I loved and appreciated all the same. To be honest, I don't really have distinct memories of any specific Valentine's Days except for one year--2001. I was in third grade and the biggest Oklahoma State basketball fan there ever was. I knew all of the players and Eddie Sutton might as well have been right up there with God. One player--Fredrik Jönzén--was my absolute favorite. He was a 6'10" tall drink of water from Sweden (at least in my 9 year old opinion). As I am guessing most kids in elementary school do, my class made Valentine mailboxes out of brown paper grocery bags. To put it simply, my bag was a shrine to our Mr. Jönzén. Out of orange, black, white, peach, and brown construction paper I created Fredrik's likeness. Believe me, I think that was probably the most creative thing I have ever done. I remember putting so much work into the bag and being proud that he was the player I picked to put on my Valentine's bag. My mom decided I should send the bag to him because really how many 9 year old girls do what I did? [Answer: not very many.]
The thing about Fredrik that I haven't thought about in a very long time was the fact that not even a month prior, he had lost his teammate and roommate, Nate Fleming, in a fatal plane crash that had killed 9 other members of the Oklahoma State basketball staff and team. As a child who had a pretty good grip on what death was, I felt for Fredrik. Looking back on the incident now, I understand that Fredrik must have been dealing with a lot of emotions that were hard to face, especially as a college student. I bring this up because with the my Valentine's bag, I also sent him a letter. When I initially remembered sending him my Valentine's bag, I didn't remember writing to him about Nate. My mom reminded me that I not only wrote to him to tell him that he was my favorite player but also that I was sorry for the loss of his friend and roommate, Nate. Along with my letter, she sent Fredrik an 8x10 of my school portrait.
At the time, we lived in Manhattan, Kansas and didn't get to see O-State games very often. A couple of years later, we moved back to Stillwater, home of the Cowboys. As my mom recollects (because I seem to have blocked it from my memory), we went to an OSU game after Fredrik had graduated. It so happens that we had tickets in the South end GA and Fredrik was in attendance. Mom *says* that he continually looked at us (as if he recognized me from that 8x10 portrait) throughout the game. She also says that she tried to convince me to go up to him after the game and tell him who I was and that I had sent him the letter and the bag. Me being me, however, I was too shy to go up to the man who I admired for so long.
As I reminisce over that Valentine's Day of eleven years past, I feel very appreciative of that third grade girl. There are many lessons to be learned from my compassion, sympathy, and empathy. Going through adolescence with social media being shoved down my throat, I know I've become increasingly narcissistic, but times when I allow myself to reflect on the past, I can embrace the principles that were important to me before I started obsessing over which picture should be my profile picture. Now in 2012, I feel like I can appreciate my family, friends, and various other loved ones a little bit more.
And Fredrik, if you're reading this, you'll always be my first true Valentine. <3
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Links pertinent to this entry:
Dear Nate by ESPN's OTL, a great story and collection of letters about Nate Fleming and his family + Kyle Keller
My boo, Freddy
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