I am so tired.
I am tired of this anxiety eating away at me. Albeit small anxieties that shrink away when confronted with reason but are sure to come creeping back in a moment of vulnerability.
I try so incredibly hard to be happy and surround myself with people who make me happy.
I recently realized that I have let so many men walk all over me in relationships and really under-appreciated the ones who treated me well. What happens when one who treated you well turns into one who treats you badly?
I deserve more than this, unfortunately I don't want anything else. That's scary.
I'm scared everything will come crashing down and the world I've built will cease to exist and I'll have to start all over again. What if no one wants to start over with me?
I still wish I could take it all back, set the record straight, etc. But you can't go back.
I want to keep pushing forward because I know it will be worth it in the long run. This is all a temporary circumstance. This is worth the wait. Patience is a virtue.
But I am so tired.
